Adventure awaits.. Are you ready?

It’s time to do it.

This thought kept coming back to me the past few months. I have been quiet in terms of pursuing my passion. The last 3 years were not my most glamorous years. I have learned to appreciate many things that I am privileged to have.

Along come with fear. On the one hand, I feel trapped in my career. Keep doing what I have been doing – I am bored out of my mind due to nature of my work is very much data entry and routine. On the other hand, find another job in the same field – I may be happy in the short term, but it will get old too fast.

New Beginning

Change is inevitably what I craved for so long. Some days after I got off from work, I would go to info sessions, search for careers I am interested in, set time aside for some hobbies. After one particular info session about digital art, I knew I would like it. Except, doubts took over. I used to be so carefree. If I wanted to do something, I would go do it.

Deep in my mind, I know I want to change my career path. But it is an unconventional pathway. I’m not building on to the experiences I already have. I have always dealt with numbers. I am so good at it. Maybe I’m too good at it. Now I want to utilize my creativity for a living – perhaps using the less developed part of my brain. Am I capable of doing that — starting over in my mid-late 20s?

The program I am interested in joining is offered full-time. It means I would have to quit my job, a decision my family wouldn’t stand behind. I need to work very hard since I’m not even from a related discipline.

Colored penciles

Then it hit me. Where’s the Lily that I know and admire, who has the courage to make change, and believe in herself. There are people out there who successfully changed their career. If they can do it, why can’t I?

Most importantly, if there’s one thing I have learned in all my travelings, it would be that anything is possible as long as you try the hardest. As cliche as it sounds, there is always a way, if I am willing to find it and do not give up. I have witnessed “miracles” happen first hand.

Yesterday I just finished my last day at work. It is both exciting and scary. I am looking forward to the journey ahead yet I do not know what to expect (despite trying to self-study on my free time). It’s that time again. It’s time to dissolve fear with motivation. I’m ready to be happy again 🙂

The Progression of Life

When I was really young, I lived with my paternal grandparents for 6 months because my parents were busy with work. I have vague memories of those days. It’s so vague that I cannot recall a single event that happened.

Photo credit: Mi..chael

After those 6 months, I lived with my parents in another city. I did not get to see my grandparents often. Then I moved to Canada. I only visit every few years, up until 2009. That was the last time I was in China. Yes, it has been 6 years since I last saw them. At the time I didn’t know that for one of them, that’s the last time I would ever see him.

Over the years, I was not very close to my grandpa, barely seen him in recent years. The moment I heard the news, I didn’t know how I felt. It was not a surprise. My dad went back to China and was updating me on grandpa’s condition.

It wasn’t until I called grandma to send my condolences, that it hit me that he is gone forever. It’s a sickening feeling. I have been blessed that I didn’t experience anyone close to me pass away till now. Even though we haven’t been in each other’s life in recent decades, we still cared about each other.

This is a significant event in my life. However, I find it less significant when compared to how grandma, dad, and uncles, and their families, will deal with the loss of someone that played a big role in their lives.

 


 

 

In these past months, I have been dissatisfied with some things, or the lack of, things happening in my life. At the same time, I have not been actively searching for solutions. Motivation stopped being my friend a while ago. There are so much negativity in my head. I know what needs to be done but it seemed impossible to start it.

It is time to remind myself: life is short. If I want to make a dent in this world before I leave, I better take action now. I have no time to waste on waiting for things to magically happen. Let me make 2015 the year of change!

Dear grandpa, I  hope you find peace, where ever you are. 

This post is dedicated to my grandpa who passed away on July 12, 2015

 

 

(Never) Give Up…

Ever since departing, there has been many things that reminded me of days in Australia (it’s not that long ago after all). It is true – you never realize what you have until it is gone.

It started months before I went to Australia. When you are so close to graduation and don’t know what happens next — the uncertainly of the future is so stressful. I knew I had to get out. I knew I needed to go somewhere to broaden my knowledge and step out of my comfort zones. I had some countries in mind, Australia never showed up on the list.

Being the “good girl” all my life, I never had experience in fighting for what I really want. That was the first time I did something significant and I had to fight for it. My parents said I will never find something abroad and I am just dreaming. Lots of my friends don’t understand why I would not settle for a grad job locally. It felt like the whole universe was against me. I will never forget the feeling when I stepped on that flight on route to Sydney.

In Sydney, I met an amazing group of people; they will be people that I never want to lose touch with. We are friends not only because we get along, but each individual also touched me in one way or another. Most prominently, the spirit of never giving up. It sounds cliche — a hollywood movie, a typical heroic protagonist in a classic novel. There is a reason that its been used over and over again in stories — it is inspiring.

Because of this spirit, many things I never thought would have happened — turned out unexpectedly amazingly. It made what I saw in the movies a reality. These friends from all over the world showed me that it can be done! And that going to Australia wasn’t just my luck.

Why the recognition now? Since I left the beloved country, things are not the same — and they never will be. I am accepting that fact. Currently I am in a new place, doing other things. It is bound to be different. In fact, that is exactly what I am looking for. I can talk all day about the negative things that happened ever since I arrived to this land that is so dry. From housing to what happens on the street. It is a different type of learning. What I learned and inspired in Australia, I will take it with me to this new place. There is always a reason to stay positive and look at things from a different angle.

There is not a chance that I am giving up on this new experience.