When I was really young, I lived with my paternal grandparents for 6 months because my parents were busy with work. I have vague memories of those days. It’s so vague that I cannot recall a single event that happened.
Photo credit: Mi..chael
After those 6 months, I lived with my parents in another city. I did not get to see my grandparents often. Then I moved to Canada. I only visit every few years, up until 2009. That was the last time I was in China. Yes, it has been 6 years since I last saw them. At the time I didn’t know that for one of them, that’s the last time I would ever see him.
Over the years, I was not very close to my grandpa, barely seen him in recent years. The moment I heard the news, I didn’t know how I felt. It was not a surprise. My dad went back to China and was updating me on grandpa’s condition.
It wasn’t until I called grandma to send my condolences, that it hit me that he is gone forever. It’s a sickening feeling. I have been blessed that I didn’t experience anyone close to me pass away till now. Even though we haven’t been in each other’s life in recent decades, we still cared about each other.
This is a significant event in my life. However, I find it less significant when compared to how grandma, dad, and uncles, and their families, will deal with the loss of someone that played a big role in their lives.
In these past months, I have been dissatisfied with some things, or the lack of, things happening in my life. At the same time, I have not been actively searching for solutions. Motivation stopped being my friend a while ago. There are so much negativity in my head. I know what needs to be done but it seemed impossible to start it.
It is time to remind myself: life is short. If I want to make a dent in this world before I leave, I better take action now. I have no time to waste on waiting for things to magically happen. Let me make 2015 the year of change!
Dear grandpa, I hope you find peace, where ever you are.
This post is dedicated to my grandpa who passed away on July 12, 2015